When someone close to you dies it doesn't seem right, it doesn't seem fair - but it happens and when it does, it's scary for everyone
If you have experienced the loss of a loved one it may help to
talk about your feelings with others. You will probably be relieved
to discover that you are not alone in feeling the way you do- other
people that knew your loved one are grieving too. You may think
other people are not grieving as much as you are, but they probably
are, just in a different way.*
Cancer changed my life completely. Instead of planning
years ahead, I just had to start planning the week.
Justin, Auckland
Grief can be expressed in many different ways. Some people feel
extreme sadness and cry a lot. Others feel out of control and get
angry. Some people say they have a hard time sleeping while others
sleep a lot. However you feel and respond to your grief, you have
the right to experience your loss in your own way. It may help to
know that you won't always feel this bad. After a while the intense
feelings will decrease and more happy times will return. Sad
thoughts may continue to pop into your mind every so often, even
when you are enjoying yourself, but that is ok. When this occurs,
try to remember something special that you learned from your loved
one, or a happy time that you shared together that will always be
with you.
I lost two friends Charles and Cameron to cancer and at
the time it felt like the end of the world. The reality check is
that you have memories of all the great times that you had with the
person. I think in it's own way it made me even
stronger
Jeffrey Thumath
We wish there was a cure for cancer and that people did not die
from the disease. There is nothing you can do to change what has
happened, but there is much you can do to help yourself. Talk to
whomever you want, whenever you want. Find healthy ways to remove
yourself from what has happened and enjoy yourself every so often.
Don't be afraid to seek support from the people and those
organizations that are there to help you. You will be able to
honour the life of your loved one if you find ways to make meaning
from his or her life.
*(Gootman, 1994, When a friend dies: A book for teens about
grieving and healing, Freespirit Publishing: USA)