Relationships

An intimate relationship may be the last thing on your mind, you may feel that you already have enough to deal with. You might think that being in a long-term relationship can be challenging enough and having cancer can complicate matters even more.

However if you are already in a relationship, you will probably want to maintain the special bond that you and your partner shared prior to living with cancer. Your partner is probably struggling, like the rest of your loved ones, with knowing how to help you. Reading through this website and taking part in discussions about your health or your sibling's health is a good start. Often their fears about what is happening to you are worse than reality, so sharing information with them can be a way of easing their fears.

In any relationship you need to share your thoughts and be open and honest with each other. At times you may feel guilty about taking your partner on such an emotional roller coaster. As a patient you may also worry about how your partner will react to scars, sexual problems and possibly loss of fertility. It is important to remember that your partner has a choice in being with you and in supporting you. If they choose to be in the relationship, they have chosen to be with you, so allow them to be there for you. Remaining intimately connected with your partner during stressful times may be a challenge at first. In a special relationship expressing your feelings can be as simple as holding hands or cuddling. Whatever you decide to do ensure that you and your partner feel comfortable and safe.

You may wonder when is the appropriate time to tell a new person in your life about your cancer experience. Telling anyone, whether it be an employer of friend can create certain consequences given the person's reaction. Fear of being rejected may prevent you at first from sharing such private information. Some young people living with cancer do not want to focus on cancer or be labeled by the disease. They will often wait until they feel a sense of trust and friendship. Others are very open about it, speaking frankly about it as a way to educate other people on the cancer experience. The best approach is the one that feels right to you. Practice how to introduce the discussion and exactly what message you would like to convey. Think about the possible reactions and be prepared with a response.