Looking Different

My weight went up and down I ended up gaining 2 dress sizes due to the steroids, its extremely difficult when you cant fit into your clothes and the reality is it goes down slowly, you just have to hang in there.

Trudi

The good news is your body and your feelings about your body image will change daily. It will probably take time to adjust to these changes. But remember underneath all of the changes, you are still you. If you find you are struggling with maintaining your self-esteem, you may want to focus on other sources of self-esteem. For example, rather than focusing on your body, you may want to take pride in your positive outlook or the amount of love and support from your family and friends that surrounds you. It may be helpful to know that over time most young cancer patients learn to love themselves and their bodies, the same way they did pre cancer.

I was lucky to find an excellent wig maker, who managed to get me a wig which looked just like my real hair. People who didn't know I had cancer weren't able to look at me and pass a judgement, because I still looked healthy. On reflection I wish I had the courage to have gone bald, but at the time I had enough to deal with emotionally and getting a wig was really beneficial to my self esteem and sense of normality

Hayley, Dunedin

Once you have experimented with your new look and you start to feel more comfortable with your self-image you will probably feel confident to explore the rest of the world. Dealing with people outside of your family and friends can be interesting. The majority of people will be touched by your strength and inspired by your courage to live and share your experience with others. However other people, mostly strangers, may stare and at times make inappropriate comments of sympathy, judgment and if you can believe it even ridicule! Others that know of you may find it hard to separate you as a person from you as a cancer sufferer.

I got called lesbo and skinhead. Others just blatantly stared and pointed. It wasn't as if I couldn't see what they were doing. I had cancer, I wasn't blind. You just have to let it ride and not let it affect you.

Phillippa

This kind of behaviour is usually due to a lack of empathy and understanding of cancer and your unique experience. How you decide to deal with others is your personal choice and may depend a great deal on how you are feeling at the time.

I dont let the effects of cancer get me down I dont feel ripped off. I actually feel very privileged. Its made me who I am.

Stephanie

Try these creative comebacks

• Ignore it and don't take it personally.
• Stare back, until the stranger realises they are being stared at and feels embarrassed.
• Ask the person if they would like take a picture so they can stare longer.
• Pull out a badge that says "I have cancer" and watch them squirm.
• Be honest, tell people you may look different, but that doesn't mean you deserve to be treated differently.
• If children take a curious interest in your appearance you may decide to take the opportunity to educate the child on cancer and how to treat people that are living with cancer.
• Say, "So what, I have cancer, what is your excuse?"
• Have a sense of humour about it and come up with our own humourous reply.