Dad took him to the doctor. Blood Cancer. Being right on
the new year, people were on holiday and no ambulances could be
spared to take Ben to Starship. He couldn't fly because he needed
an oxygen mask to breathe. That night was life or death. He lived.
He was taken to Starship in an ambulance. Dad went with him. Mom
drove me to Auckland along with my Aunt and Uncle. My little
sister (5) had the chickenpox, so she wasn't allowed to come.
I wasn't allowed to see him though because I'd been in contact with
Katie.
There was nowhere for me to stay in Auckland, so I went home
with Uncle Jack. I never knew what was happening; I
didn't really know what was actually wrong either. I
didn't understand what they meant when they
said leukemia or cancer. Or when they talked
about lumber-punctures either. None of it made sense. It
still doesn't.
When Mom came home without Dad and without Ben, I thought
nothing of it. It was when I saw Mom crying that I knew something
was really wrong. When Ben finally came home, he had no hair,
and he'd gained a bit of weight. He was really pale, and he
actually looked sick.
I remember being shocked at the contrast, this was a stranger, not
my brother. My brother was healthy and sporty, skinny and glowing.
And smiling. He wasn't pale and sick. But he was. And it was
strange.
Ben was getting better though. We decided to take
a family fishing trip, because Ben loves fishing. It
turned into a disaster. One minute he was fine, the next his nose
was pouring blood. Endless blood. We went back to land, Mom took
Ben to the hospital. He went to Starship. What I saw when I got
there was the pale stranger, looking sicker than the last time I'd
seen him. But they had stopped the blood.
Being nine, I saw the cork and thought they'd just put it up his
nose to clog the hole so no blood could get out. I know now that
wasn't all there was to it, but I don't understand the rest. Ben
got better after that. His hair grew back, and his colour began to
come back. I started to recognize my brother.
Ben spent his 13th birthday in hospital, his best friend came
from school with Mrs Tane, the teacher that Ben would've had if
he'd been allowed to attend Intermediate. I remember being jealous
because Ben got a PS1 for that birthday.
I think the scariest bit for me was not knowing. Not knowing
whether it was the last time I would see my brother alive, if next
time he'd be worse. And not knowing what was happening. The
one thing I do know, is that I'm thankful that Ben survived.